Teaser in the Onion

Eddie Murphy Fucks Self for $20 Million.

Allison and I were talking about Eddie Murphy the other night. He was the funniest, dirtiest motherfucker when he was like 23 years old. Then he got older, had kids of his own, stopped snorting coke, and made shit like Haunted Mansion.

I guess it just goes to show that people are way funnier when they're stoned.